Demystifying Behaviours
The following extracts are taken from Herb Lovett.
Aggression
Every now and again, a stranger will phone me for advice about someone I have never met. Someone called recently: “Hi my name’s Phyllis, and we’ve got a 21 year old autistic who’s really assaultive all the time. He was looking around the refrigerator last night and we told him to shut the door so he hauled off and belted a staff. We’re going to have him checked for frontal lobe seizures, but if that isn’t it, then what are we going to do?”
“What is the man’s name?” I asked.
“James” she replied.
“Who calls James other than his family?”
“No one.”
“Who are his friends?”
He doesn’t make friends.”
“Why was he looking in the refrigerator?”
“He likes attention.”
There
was a time I would have found this conversation infuriating. I still
flinch when I hear someone called an autistic, and I would be pretty
condescending (if only in my heart) to anyone thinking that people look
for a social life in refrigerators. Still, if I really want to see a
world where James is taken seriously as a person, then - I have only
slowly come to recognise this - I have to begin with myself. Would my
abrupt dismissal of this woman be any different from her
misunderstanding of James? I am constantly discovering how I have yet to
learn to listen not only to people’s words but to their larger meanings
as well. I am still learning how to listen to learn.
It has
always been too easy for me to respond to my own reactions and
judgements first and last. I find I am happier with myself and my work,
though, when I remember that:
1. Most people are doing the best they can. If they see a way, they will often change to do better, but most people won’t see new possibilities if they come from hostile critics.
2. Phyllis did not call to get my opinion of her. She was desperate. People were getting hurt and she was scared.
As
we talked, she recognised that people had been giving James orders when
they might better have asked him questions and that they had not been
as thoughtful towards James as they were toward one another. By the time
we finished talking, Phyllis decided that James probably had a lot of
reasons not to be happy about his life. He lived with six people he
didn’t choose to live with. He worked for very little money at a job he
didn’t like. As this perspective became clearer to her, she concluded,
“we can do better”.
Herbert Lovett 1996
Attention Seeking
I
have many friends in the field of human services. Most, like me have
had training in behavioural shaping. From time to time, I find myself
too bored to watch television or too restless to read. It’s too early to
go to bed, and it’s still too close to dinner to eat again - so I start
phoning. I have nothing in particular to say but I do want to talk.
Perhaps you yourself have never done this, but certainly someone you
know has done it to you. The only point of the conversation is the
company. I have never (yet) had any of my friend’s say to me. “This
seems like you are just looking for attention. What I will do now is
hang up, but you can call me (tomorrow/next week/next year) when you
have something meaningful to say and I will talk with you then.
Herbert Lovett 1996
Compliance?
Two
other common and demeaning labels for behaviour are non-compliant and
avoidant.Some of us recognise non-compliant behaviour at once as our
own. Asked to choose which animal they would most like to be, few people
would pick a sheep. Most of us identify, I think more with eagles and
weasels, seeing ourselves as people who can soar above it all or think
of some clever way to burrow down and around unfair expectations. Not
one of my acquaintances has said, “I am proud to do what I am told
without question”.Many of us get away with bending and breaking rules
because we are adroit enough to avoid notice. If, however, our evasions
or authoritarian demands were not relatively sophisticated, or if we
were already perceived as different, then we might well find ourselves
further diminished by being labelled non-compliant.
Avoidance?
Avoidant
behaviour also seems to be a vice most often found in others. A service
user who chronically refuses to leave for work can become the object of
a behaviour program that uses incentives for being punctual or a series
of increasingly unpleasant consequences (from loss of pleasurable
activity to being forcibly removed) for being stubborn. This strict
standard is considered reasonable, apparently, because no dedicated,
self-motivated professional would ever call in sick while enjoying good
health. For one thing, that would be wrong. For another we would expect
our supervisor and a large assistant to visit us, determine if our claim
of illness was really the case, and, if they found it not so, escort us
physically back to work. If anyone did this to you, you would
reasonably call the police or your lawyer - unless you are a client and
your team has approved this sort of intervention for your avoidant
behaviour.
This is not to imply that a person’s sudden decision to act independently may not be a problem. It may well be. But just because the problem is real does not grant us the right to dictate a solution. The people I have met who refuse to go to work are avoidant always have good reasons for their actions. Often work is really just daycare for
people with disabilities and is unpaid and meaningless. Or the person
may have a medication schedule that makes him or her sluggish in the
morning and would be better off working evenings. The reasons that these
people might not want to go ahead with the day planned for them are as
numerous as those anyone has for not wanting to go to work on any given
day.
Herbert Lovett 1996
Some Basic Questions to Ask about Challenging Behaviour - The Environment
Where does the power sit in this situation?Who is able to make the decisions here?
Are there ways to give this person more control?
Who is in this person’s life?
Who are their friends?
Who supports this person?
Who do they really enjoy (or not enjoy) spending time with?
Is there anyone missing or absent?
How does everyone feel about what is happening?
How do I feel about what is going on?
How do others feel about it?
Is my perspective affected by what others think?
Do I/we believe the person has feelings about the situation?
Do I/we believe they are aware of our perception of them?
How would I feel if I were in this person’s situation?
What do we know about this person?
Do I/we believe this person has hopes and dreams?
Do I/we know what they are? Do we know the things they like to do?
Can I/we look at this ’ problem” differently?
What could we do to avoid this situation altogether?
Is it possible to re-frame what is happening to find positives?
Does the “problem” sit with the person or with others?
Have things changed for me or others that may affect the person?
Where will my support come from to make changes?
Some Basic Questions to Ask about Challenging Behaviour - The Individual
Could this person be telling us something?Is what they are doing unusual or more common for them?
Is the person usually able to tell us if they need or want something?
Is this their way of letting us know they need more control of their life?
Could they be anxious or unwell and unable to say what it is?
When did they last have a medical check-up?
What are this person’s hopes and dreams?
What are the unique things that this person needs to be happy?
Are these currently being met?
Are there significant absences?
Are things happening that may cause anxiety for the person?
Could the person be bored or unhappy with the way things are for them?
Are there any changes or additions that could make their life more interesting?
Can we find more things for them to do that they enjoy?
Have there been any recent changes in the person’s life?
Have there been any changes to routine?
Has any person or special thing been absent?
Is the person aware of the expectations placed on them?
What are this person’s strengths and abilities?
How can we build on these to find a solution?
Are there new skills we could teach?
Does the person have adequate coping strategies for problems/anxieties?